Grief Tells a Story
On a late summer day, 18 months ago, my twin passed away.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” – Matthew 5:4, NRSV-CE
Everyone’s grief journey is different.
Whether you’ve lost someone yesterday, 10 years ago, or are anticipating a loss, your grief matters. If you have lost one person, or seemingly everyone close to you, God sees you.
Your grief tells a story.
On a late summer day, 18 months ago, my twin brother passed away. After a 25-year battle with a rare form of epilepsy, and one week after turning 28, the Lord called him home. He was my best friend, and one of the strongest people I have ever known.
These past 18 months have been uncharted territory. In fact, the entire grief journey has felt like navigating through uncharted waters. I thought I was prepared for my brother’s passing, because he had been ill for quite some time, but I simply wasn’t. And I had no idea what was up ahead as I began grieving.
I am no grief expert. However, as I have been processing my own grief, 3 things I have learned and observed on this journey are:
Grief is biblical.
Grief can be random.
Talking about grief is healing.
Grief is biblical
A story that has resonated with me greatly over the last year and a half is when Jesus wept with Mary about the death of Lazarus. Mary was Lazarus’ sister. After Lazarus died, Mary wept at the feet of Jesus and talked to Him about the death of her brother, and then:
Jesus also wept (see John 11:28-37).
I think this is such a powerful image. In my grief, I am reminded that Jesus knows what I am going through. Jesus was friends with Lazarus, and He experienced grief when He witnessed Mary weeping over the loss of her brother. Grief is biblical, and Christ understands grief, because He too experienced it. How comforting it is to know that the Savior understands.
When grief gets heavy, I can look to Christ to help me.
Grief can be random
Not long ago, I was with friends, and we decided to watch a movie. When the movie started, I suddenly felt sad, and I felt like I couldn’t be in the room. It turned out that the movie put on was one of my brother’s favorites. Out of nowhere, I felt like I was going to cry. I had not been thinking too much about it at the time, and suddenly it all came rushing back, as I heard the sounds of one of my brother’s favorite movies.
Grief can truly be triggered at the most random times. And that’s okay. There are things in this world that we won’t even realize remind us of our loved one.
I choose to see these reminders as signs of my love for my brother. They are a part of his story.
When things remind me of him, I remember how much I loved him on Earth, and how much I continue to love him as he spends eternity with the Lord.
Talking about grief is healing
About a month after my brother passed away, a friend of mine recommended that I try attending a grief support group. I am normally a very introverted person, but something pushed me to go to this group. Through attending this weekly support session, I found healing and understanding in others who have walked the journey of grief too. While no two people will ever understand fully the other’s loss, it is validating and helpful to hear from others who have been grieving, too.
We were not meant to walk alone.
Grief tells a story. Reminders of our loved ones show us just how important our story is, and talking about it is healing.
Your grief is important too. I pray that in the times you have been grieving, that you will draw closer to the Lord. He knows what you are going through.
Christ’s love is part of the story, too.
“In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also.”
– John 14:2-3, NRSV-CE
In Christ,
Lauren
If you liked this post, you may also like:
When Our Bodies Fail
“. . . [Jesus] said, ‘This illness does not lead to death; rather it is for God’s glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’” - John 11:4, NRSV
Honoring Grief
“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. He said, ‘Where have you laid him?’ They said to him, ‘Lord come and see.’ Jesus began to weep. So the Jews said, ‘See how he loved him!’” – John 11:33-36, NRSV-CE
This was a beautiful read. Loss is so hard, and it never really leaves. "Jesus wept" is one of the most comforting verses in the Bible. The fact that He could understand grief and empathize with what we feel. Thanks for sharing this.